DOC HQ Backyard Main Road New Zealand

DEPARTMENT OF CONVERSATION

About Us
What We Do ?

Well....... We talk a lot. We listen, sometimes,.... and we talk. We talk about a wide range of topics, holding forth quite liberally on subjects that are very dear to us and that we probably know beggar-all about. But therein lies the key to our success. This is after all, the Department of Conversation. We're not here championing the saving of species or on a crusade to eliminate Kauri die-back or protect the long-eared, three-eyed, cat-eating semi-giant land snails of South Westland from the leathery clutches of well-meaning, but mis-informed dreadlocked, over-educated long-term-gap students. No. Our remit is to conduct conversations. Talkfests, meetings, hui, korero, chats, exposes, editoria and in some extreme-cases, argumentia. Although, sometimes that takes abit more effort than what we have. Oh, did we mention...... we also sell stuff. 

Conservation Issues Today
  • Cloud Juice
  • Three Waters
  • National Policy Statement Fresh Water
  • Climate Adaptation Act
  • Natural & Built Environments Act
  • Terra Firma
  • SNAs
  • DoC-held non-conservation land
  • Access/Concessions/Sales
  • Off-shore Islands
  • Private Property
  • Species Stuff
  • Namu - The Tourist Suppressor
  • Trees, plants, mosses, algae and stuff
  • Birds, Bees and buzzy things
  • Aquatic inhabitants
  • Mammals
Mission & Vision
Mission Statement

Our mission is to bring humour to this glum world, while making a quid and having a laugh. We want to make it a better place and we want people to be nice to each other. 

VISION

New Zealand is the best place for a yarn.

Kāore he wāhi i tua atu i a Aotearoa, hei wahi noho i te ao

Our Team
team1
Hida Gecko
team2
Thatsa Quail
Ivor Rash

Whats on offer from DoC?

Sales

Keep checking back here, because eventually we will be marketing our exclusive DoC merchandise through this site. It'll be great. Bigly, even. 

Despite our best efforts and intentions, the products will probably be churned out by some slave labour force (ostensibly marketed as organically and ethically produced) paid less than $2 a week and branded as high-end merch for you to proudly wear, smug in your righteous commitment to the planet. 

Our Opinion

All of these issues that are riding the airwaves, of social media, mainstream media.... You know. All that "in your face" stuff... Well, we simply put forward our opinion. We dont dress it up and we do sometimes change it, but we thoroughly, determinedly and religiously research everything we write,... well, .... sometimes. 

We won't always be right,... and we'd be highly surprised to find that you were in agreement with us over everything (we'd be concerned if you agreed with us over anything actually)

Offers

We offer our opinion and our voice. Like everyone else, we reserve the right to have an opinion and to make that opinion heard. YOU on the other hand, dont have to listen/read/pay attention.... but we do note that you are still here....?

If you don't like what we write,....  please click here to go to the very outer edges (sort of like "The End") of the internet and sit in a corner until someone invents a new internet. 

Topical

You say 'controversial'. We say 'topical.' Tomatoes, tomatos, You wore red, we wore blue. 

I didnt, I wouldnt and I never have!


Feedback

We don't do feedback. No need and we're not really interested in your opinion anymore. You've had your say. You've plastered your opinion all over FB, Twitter, Tik Tok, Youtube, Snapchat, Triller ,.......  This platform is ours. Read on or move on. 

Random Topics

Want us to talk about something 'relevant?' Sure. But in the meantime sit back and watch the paint dry and have a  very much one-way conversation with us about what we care about. 

Analytics

We carefully monitor who is reading our site, where they are from and what their browsing habits are and then we sell that information to the CDC-approved mind controllers in Finland whom design individually tailored algorithms that will silently activate your phone's GPS tracking apps.

We know stuff

Want to know where to get genuine aluminium hats that actually work, without making your ears ring or sweat? 

Every so often we'll post links to the BEST things on the Internet.... right here.

Conspiracy Theories

Just because it ISNT a conspiracy theory doesnt mean it isnt dodgy. We expose the lengths that some folks will go to just to find a hoax or to hide one too.

By the way: have you noticed how much better your cellphone reception is since you got that third "booster" shot?  


Trending

Drowning in Debt

Drowning in Debt

So, are we really going to drown in debt if we do not embrace these reforms? Using the…

Nov 26, 20213 min read
3 Waters Love The Overflow

3 Waters Love The Overflow

Firstly, 3 waters is not a new brand of gin, a collection of rivers, or a romantically secluded,…

Aug 24, 20226 min read
Three Waters

Three Waters

Nov 23, 20211 min read
dummy-img

Water Myths Make Really Good Reading

A Myth is a female moth The topic is so emotive, volatile and of direct consequence to all…

Aug 24, 20222 min read

Entertainments

Recent Posts

dummy-img

Water Myths Make Really Good Reading

ByAdministratoriumAug 24, 20222 min read

A Myth is a female moth The topic is so emotive, volatile and of direct consequence to all of us that we all have an opinion and we are all impacted by the dis-information, misinformation and missing information. Hers some untruths and truths as we can figure them out. Disinformation If you collect rainwater, you […]

3 Waters Love The Overflow

3 Waters Love The Overflow

ByAdministratoriumAug 24, 20226 min read

Firstly, 3 waters is not a new brand of gin, a collection of rivers, or a romantically secluded, exclusive golf course for the rich and infamous. Nor is it a…

Drowning in Debt

Drowning in Debt

ByAdministratoriumNov 26, 20213 min read

So, are we really going to drown in debt if we do not embrace these reforms? Using the Governments very own figures on average household costs of water services we…